March 5, 2014

Buses vs Porn

My social feeds were flooded last week with news from Duke University, where a male student outed a fellow freshmen as a female porn star during a fraternity rush. Madness ensued.

I always find stories about Duke intriguing because I went to school down the street and made out with a boy under a magnolia tree on East Campus. I can also understand how this story first became a localized scandal. College campuses are like petri dishes: everyone is bored (the control factor) and has strong reactions when something different (like a new strain of bacteria or a confident, sexually active female) is introduced into the sterile environment. Cultures grow, cells mutate, insecure dick-weeds are offended.

If you’d like to know more about the story, read the personal response of the female student in question. I’m approaching the situation from a different angle, by telling you about my own job during freshman year which I feel warrants more sensational attention than choosing to have sex on camera.

October 8, 2013

Ageism and shawl-things

The silk shawl-ish garment pictured above is one of my favorite purchases of the past year. It is black, billows in the wind, and is adorned with vintage lace. I found it at Buffalo Exchange and said many words:

Done.” “Fabulous.” “Shut it down.” “Sally Bowles.”

I wore it often and people said other words:

Kinda old.” “Granny.” “Yo, what's Poppins?” “Babushka!”

October 4, 2013

Wrecking everyone's balls...

I don't care much about Miley Cyrus or her sexual expression or her blaxploitation, because none of those things directly affect my life and I'm sure she'll get her shit together eventually.  I simply want to point out that there are better examples of people crying into cameras.  That's it.  That's my only agenda.  No feminist, culturally appropriated rants to be found. I am not sorry for the disappointment.

First up, Janelle Monae in her video for Cold War.  She filmed the first take, and because it was so emotionally raw she and her team decided to use it as the final video. Note: seriously on point & creative lip sync, powerful lyrics, real tears, spider lashes.

September 25, 2013

A media crisis

After a number of particularly bleak months, when creativity looms and I'm itching to "make" "something", I find myself at a crossroad: if I go left I'll film an entertaining YouTube video that really says something, with a healthy dose of improvisation and wit. If I go right I'll write a thought provoking, humorous, well-executed blog post essay that will serve as the foundation for my impending memoirs (which no other twenty-somethings claim. Ever.).

June 27, 2013

Don't call it a comeback...

Because, honestly, I didn't go anywhere.

Apparently we have reached a point where not Tweeting as much means you have been diagnosed with cancer and your absence from YouTube is a result of a three-month long coping process, which consists of reading Eat, Pray, Love non-ironically, eating a lot of bacon, and the occasion visit to Buffalo Exchange.

The latter half of that scenario is actually kind of true.  Just the bacon and consignment parts, though, because after watching half the movie-version of Eat, Pray, Love and recovering from the incessant nausea it gave me, I can't really think about reading the book without getting diarrhea.  But yes, bacon.  Because I've been feeling a bit lost and lonely lately, like there is a hole in my life that I've been filling with promises of a delicious heart-attack by the time I'm 30 and second-hand pony hair shoes.

Basically all I'm saying is that I'm over eating my feelings and that I miss publishing them for an international audience that appreciates my existence.  Basically I'm asking you to be my therapy because seriously I don't understand how anyone can afford actual therapy.  And you basically already are if you're reading this.  So basically I owe you like $60 worth of bacon at the close of this session.

Seriously, though, thanks for not jumping ship like that Zebra did during the ship-sinking scene in Life of Pi, which was really just a metaphor for my blogging career (not the whole movie, just the hurricane/tanker/exotic animal/floating bananas/death part).  I appreciate your eyes that magically let you see words on your screen, and your brains that by some sort of divine intervention understand (or at least appreciate) my wandering thoughts, fickle opinions, and wobbly gender expression.

I'll be posting more soon because I've never said that before.