October 3, 2008

Dear asian man sitting in the student center:

I know what you're up to.  Looking around, jotting down notes, taking sips of your coffee to seem inconspicuous.  I don't know what to feel now that you've chosen me to be the subject of your observational research paper.  I may be flattered.  Yes, quite possibly.  

But since I'm in a shitty mood all I want to say is, "That espresso mug is the perfect shape to stimulate your prostate.  You mark that shit down."

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