Life sucks right now, but I'm getting through it. I always say this, but hopefully I get back to writing more soon. xoxo
Many of my fellow college students live on a plan. They knew their first career moves by the time they reached fourth grade. They took college credit in high school and finished undergrad in less than three years. They got a great internship and got into graduate school. They’re going places – on a fast track.
I’m going places too, of course, but I’m the turtle in this race. It took me nearly three years and four majors to find something that interests me enough to incur some real self-motivation. On top of that, I needed to find a new university, since my new-found calling (film studies) isn’t offered as a major at ECU. But still, I’m getting there.
Plans scare me – or at least ones that detail every aspect of my life for more than five minutes. I’ve found over the past few years that enjoying life is all about noticing the little things (so cliche, but so true), discovering the new things (you want me to eat COW BRAIN?), and learning from the things we do wrong (risks, honey bee, and chances). Should I have waited until I was done with college to adopt a dog? Probably. I wouldn’t have to spend hundreds of dollars on vet bills or anti-flea medication or multi-grain dog food. But after all the picnics we’ve been on, all the nights we’ve stayed up late watching zombies tear flesh from bone, and all the chewed socks I’ve found under my bed, I wouldn’t trade her for all the Louboutins in the world.
Here’s my plan: there is no fucking plan. I still don’t know what I will do after I get a degree. Perhaps I’ll direct movies, or criticize them for the Boston Globe, or go to graduate school at NYU, or design a line of shoes, or knock out Anna Wintour and steal her job. I used to hate not knowing what will happen – always jealous of my friends with the master plan – but now I relish in the possibilities of life, and all I have to do is make them happen.