December 1, 2010

Life list...

I've tried writing a life list exactly seven times. My train of thought begins to disintegrate after exactly seven goals are written down. I then proceed to imagine what exactly a seventh season of Sex and the City would have been like. Then I sleep for approximately seven hours.

If you didn't get the point, I suck at making lists of things to do. Mostly because they never get done.

But today, for some reason, between watching Battlestar Galactica and engulfing a tomato-basil grilled-cheese sandwich, I opened up Microsoft Word and made a big list in 48 Arial font. It is messy, in need of expansion, and doomed to fail, but at least I know it exists.

  1. Travel out of the country (Canada counts)
  2. Learn a different language
  3. Learn to speed read
  4. Write a witty memoir called The Concrete Loves My Shoes
  5. Meet, talk to, and befriend Daphne Guiness
  6. Obtain physical copies of every Sergei Eisenstein film
  7. Make a fashion film
  8. Learn this and perform it live
  9. Move to New York City
  10. Walk into the Christian Louboutin store at 59 Horatio Street New York, NY and buy a $4,000 pair of thigh-high studded leather boots with a 6-inch stiletto heel (all in three minutes flat)
  11. Find a boyfriend
  12. Make a short film about my experience as Bus Driver Fierce
  13. Be in a food fight
  14. Push a baby carriage down the Odessa Steps
  15. Become Gareth Pugh's muse
  16. Swim in clear ocean water (i.e. nothing above Florida)
  17. Learn to drive a stick shift
  18. Sail
  19. Skydive. In these.
  20. Trick myself into eating an entire salad and enjoying it
  21. Mentor a kid
  22. Raise my own kid
  23. Become, for any length of time, a dominatrix
  24. Go deep see diving
  25. Find my signature haircut/style/color(s)
  26. Perform in a burlesque show
  27. Learn to actually whistle
  28. Live abroad
  29. Get laser eye surgery
  30. Get laser hair removal (face first)
  31. Dive off a cliff (also face first)
  32. Be in a band
  33. Find a place I can honestly tell myself is home
  34. Learn to cook something more complicated than a grilled cheese sandwich
  35. Get this tattooed on my back
  36. Hail a taxi under 5 seconds
  37. Invest in something that I can leave to someone else
  38. Be in a zombie walk


  1. Love this. Love the idea of this, love everything.

  2. The best way to learn to cook something more than grilled cheese is to concentrate on basic cooking methods.

    Written recipes won't teach you to cook any more than having sheet music will teach you to play piano.

    The biggest frustration for the home cook isn't cooking, it's following the written recipe. Recipes have inherent flaws and variables that make them impossible to duplicate and always let you down.

    When a recipe calls for "one onion, chopped", how big is this onion? When a recipe says "cook under medium heat", how do you define medium? And, worst of all is cooking by time. "Saute for 3-5 minutes" can mean raw or burned depending on the stove, pan, ingredient, etc...

    Why is cooking the only art form that has a strict set of instructions? You'd never tell a painter to "paint with 1.7 ounces of green paint for 22 minutes, and you'll have a landscape". No, he'll use as much green paint for as long as he wants until the landscape is complete. This is how people should cook.

    I've taught thousands of people to "Burn Your Recipes" and cook like a chef at home, with basic cooking methods and the ingredients you desire.

    Concentrate on the basic cooking methods of saute, steaming, braising, roasting, grilling, poaching, simmering and you can create an infinate amount of recipes that a book will never tell you.

  3. I can't whistle either, and I'd also love to find a signature hairstyle/cut/color!

    I love that you made a life list and posted it for all of us to see. I may or may not be copying this idea on my blog in the near future. :)

  4. Love your list. I think you are awesome! If I ever write a Life List, I will include: "Meet and become friends with Jason Simone a.k.a. Bus Driver Fierce".


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