September 21, 2011

I'm not ALWAYS high...

I have a confession to make.

Sometimes... well... a lot of the time... I don't wear heels.

Let that sink in.

Now that you've recovered from your stroke, let me explain.  These are the two pairs of flat shoes I've worn the most this summer:

Yes, those are silver-sequined Toms.  I always thought Toms were kind of cute when they first started appearing everywhere.  I like slip-ons that cover a larger portion of the top of the foot than most women's flats do (I don't know why!).  When I discovered that for each pair sold the company gives a pair to a child in need, I was flabbergasted that a company was leveraging my shoe obsession to help others.  And of course it worked.  They're the most comfortable shoes I've ever owned, and, HELLO, they sparkle.  I'd like to think that a small boy in Haiti is running around in them as well.  I'm getting these next.  Now, a lot of people hate Toms, either for the way they look or for the "Hey look at me I'm wearing Toms and saving the world and I'm cool" mentality that may or may not go along with them.  In any respect, I like that they do not have laces and blind people when they catch the sunlight.  Also, I can walk from the Lower East Side to 8th Avenue without the tendons in my feet tearing.

Oh, and the sneakers are Adidas Top Tens (no I don't know what that means).  They are pink, yellow, and gray, and are the only pair of high-tops I own.  Which may change soon.  There is something about sneakers that makes them innately cool.  Plus, when you're only 5'4", like me, they look cartoonishly oversized.  Like a little kid shuffling around in his parent's shoes.  These are ridiculously comfortable and probably get me the most compliments of any shoes I own.

Now, if you had an idea of me running about NYC in 6-inch heels every day I DO THAT TOO.  And I will do that everyday once I have a sugar daddy who will pay for a car service to take me all over the city.  Until then, I have to walk a few miles everyday, just like everyone else in the city.  I still do that in high heels, but I'd like to have functional ankles when I'm 95 and still throwing back cosmopolitans at the bar.  So, perhaps 65% of my days are spent on the ground, instead of 6 inches above it.  I find it to be equally fabulous.

PS - I know my shoes are insanely dirty.  I clean them about once a month.  If I get around to it.  Maybe.


  1. I find your taste in flats quite relatable, and therefore forgive you completely for not wearing heels every day...and I think your future chiropractor thanks you. :)

  2. Forget chiropractors. I'm going to have the world's leading podiatrist on speed dial.

  3. This... is really disappointing. Sure, you have really cute flats but I thought.. I .. I though... you were always in heels...

  4. Dearest Wes, clearly the only way to cure your RESOUNDING disappointment is to have a HEELS party. Heels for hours, heels for days.

    And, in my defense, I only have two pairs of heels with me at the moment. The rest are still in NC because I couldn't get all 23 pairs in my suitcase.


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