January 30, 2012

How to be a Dragon...

Happy New Year!  If I were, in fact, a dragon, I would breath a massive ring of fire right now just because that would be awesome.  But I'm actually a snake, so until I can figure out something even more wicked awesome snakes can do, I'm going to tell you about all the dragony stuff that happened downtown yesterday.

When you hear about dragons running amuck through the streets of Chinatown, you go see them.  My roommate Byron and I did just that.  We actually missed most of the parade (which always happens to me), but we did see a few massive dragons made out of plastic bottles.  And they were flying.  You'll see them in a sec.

The colors all over the festival were beautiful!  And there we were, dressed all in black.  Oops.  It's fine.  Totally fine.  We just got stared at.  A lot.  But that may have also been because we spent half the time pretending to be each other's personal hoard of paparazzi.  Once again, totally fine!  We spent the other half throwing confetti in the air.

Also, never eat fried curry fish balls.  I mean, they were actually pretty amazeballs (get it!?), but I'm pretty sure they were 100% synthetic and made out of tires.

Since all I know about the Chinese Zodiac is what I read on the placemats at Golden City Buffet when I was twelve, I decided to find out about my dragon counterparts (including my brother!).

You are a dragon if you were born in one of the following years:

1904 * 1916 * 1928 * 1940 * 1952 * 1964 * 1976 * 1988 * 2000

Characteristics of the Dragon:


That certainly sounds like some of the dragons I know.  Namely my brother, who was just shipped to Oklahoma for basic army training.  I'm sure he's getting the ever-lovin' dragon kicked out of him.

Dragons are just like the rest of us, you guys.  The like and don't like things.

Color Preference: Greenish-Blue
Gems and Stones: Opal, Sapphire, Amber
Suitable Gifts: Tarot cards, camera, a copy of the I Ching, mirror, a family crest, mobile phone
Hobbies and Pastimes: Computer programming, public speaking, fossil hunting, astrology
Dragons Dislike: Taking orders, unnecessary bureaucracy, discounted ideas, people who don't give 100%

Oh!  And there just might be people in the world you won't get along with!

Best Friends: Rats and Monkeys
Mortal enemies: Dogs

I'm sure you can be friends with real dogs, though.  Just not people-dogs.  Gotta what out for those.  Seesh.

Dragons make good pro-dommes:

Dragons are egotistical and love to be the center of attention.
Modesty is not one of his assets. Add to that the Dragon temper and 
you have a bossy, dominating and authoritative being. 
They hate solicited advice and can be hopelessly 
tactless and insensitive to their lovers.

How interesting.  And terrifying.

Oh wait!  There is a bright side!

People love Dragons so much because they are generous, charismatic, irresistible, and so brave that standing beside them banishes fear. They generate excitement and turn heads anywhere they go. They are free-spirited and impulsive and can help others achieve their dreams. Others love to be around Dragons because they have a way of making people feel better. Dragons are quick to fall in love, but do not surrender their independence easily leaving most of them to live life by themselves. Yet, an smart, witty, and funny companion may intrigue the Dragon long enough to make him want to get married. And once the Dragon becomes committed, he is unlikely to ever leave.

I can get on board with that.  As long as he can fly.  FLYING IS A DEAL BREAKER.

This outfit has become my uniform.
Turbon- thermal tights; poncho- Diesel;
jacket- Nordstrom Rack;
jeans: Target; shoes- Jeffrey Campbell

All of my newly-acquired zodiac brain juice came from this uber reputable source.  Go there and absorb some of your own zodiac brain juice, too!



Speak your mind! *muah*