April 11, 2012

Easter BEASTS...

I don't like Easter.

Not because I'm not particularly religious or that I have anything against the Jeez and his ability to rise from the dead (I mean, he was the first recorded zombie, so he should get a lot of credit for that), but I do become a hermit for at least two full weeks each spring, reluctantly leaving my house only for food and work.  If you've been wondering why I haven't posted in a while, blame this asshole:

Anyone who knows me well is undoubtedly aware of my irrational fear of people in bunny suits.  Just look at that mofo.  Eyes like endless black pits that consume your soul and everything you love; a fake smile that never goes away (where do you think the Joker got that idea???); hands held neatly in a prancy pose to incite cuteness; knees bent as a non-verbal signal that there will me a pointless hop in the very near future.  FUCK YOU, BUNNY MAN.  FUCK YOU HARD.

I'm not exactly sure where this fear stems from.  I certainly have no problem with the leporidae family, or Peter Cottontail, or even animated hares like Ribbit (a la Pooh Bear).  All I know is that I've always gotten a little anxious around them.  Then when I saw Donnie Darko for the first time I shit my pants and can't even look at a picture of that THING on Google without projectile vomiting across the room.  Now every time I see a person in a bunny suit I can't go within a 50 foot radius of their standing position (and let's be honest, that's all they do - they stand there, motionless, staring at you with those eyes that always follow you without even moving, then they suddenly hop and your head explodes) because I will punch them in the furry fucking face.

This kid agrees with me:

I also hate pastels.

So what did you do for easter??



  1. Those bunnies are hella creepy!

  2. thanks for making me be afraid of every bunny man that will cross my way in the future... xD

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