June 27, 2013

Don't call it a comeback...

Because, honestly, I didn't go anywhere.

Apparently we have reached a point where not Tweeting as much means you have been diagnosed with cancer and your absence from YouTube is a result of a three-month long coping process, which consists of reading Eat, Pray, Love non-ironically, eating a lot of bacon, and the occasion visit to Buffalo Exchange.

The latter half of that scenario is actually kind of true.  Just the bacon and consignment parts, though, because after watching half the movie-version of Eat, Pray, Love and recovering from the incessant nausea it gave me, I can't really think about reading the book without getting diarrhea.  But yes, bacon.  Because I've been feeling a bit lost and lonely lately, like there is a hole in my life that I've been filling with promises of a delicious heart-attack by the time I'm 30 and second-hand pony hair shoes.

Basically all I'm saying is that I'm over eating my feelings and that I miss publishing them for an international audience that appreciates my existence.  Basically I'm asking you to be my therapy because seriously I don't understand how anyone can afford actual therapy.  And you basically already are if you're reading this.  So basically I owe you like $60 worth of bacon at the close of this session.

Seriously, though, thanks for not jumping ship like that Zebra did during the ship-sinking scene in Life of Pi, which was really just a metaphor for my blogging career (not the whole movie, just the hurricane/tanker/exotic animal/floating bananas/death part).  I appreciate your eyes that magically let you see words on your screen, and your brains that by some sort of divine intervention understand (or at least appreciate) my wandering thoughts, fickle opinions, and wobbly gender expression.

I'll be posting more soon because I've never said that before.

18 comments:

  1. It is about time you made your comeback, I've been waiting.

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    1. I need your blogging stamina. Also, why have we never met in person?

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  2. Oh ! There you are! I knew you were somewhere.

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  3. "I've been feeling a bit lost and lonely lately, like there is a hole in my life that I've been filling with promises of a delicious heart-attack by the time I'm 30" AND "I don't understand how anyone can afford actual therapy" are the two lines that express my feelings too. Well, I've been thinking lately that this "lost" feeling comes from the idea that either we don't know exactly what we want to do or we want something that seems so difficult. We run everyday and we do things/jobs just to survive, we need more free time to relax and discover ourselves. Jason, I'm happy you posted, I always like reading your thoughts& news. :)

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    1. I love your reply. Except I think I've had TOO MUCH free time lately. Too much time to ponder and too much time to think about all the things I try not to think too much about. And for some reason as I type I keep saying "about" as "aboot", as if I'm one of those people who say "aboot" and don't realize that they may or may not be talking about a type of footwear.

      See? What did I tell you. Too much time to think.

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  4. Been waiting as patiently as possible! I have missed you!

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  5. Sorry guys, Jason and his pony-haired mary janes have been too busy filming a future award winning F!NGERT!P$ music video.

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  6. did someone say bacon? =P
    keep at things! beat life into submission and make it your bitch... then partaaay! keep smiling. x

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  7. I inhaled audibly when I saw this in my email..then -bacon...a good day for me...indeed.

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  8. Whenever I think about putting on clothes that I like, that I know are going to bring some not-so-positive attention to me, I just think, 'Jason would do it," and that gives me the confidence to walk out the door.

    Last night I wore a turban/headband to go out (because I too have hairline issues, and a turban is the perfect fix-all). I'm pretty sure that my turban-themed gender deviance telepathically compelled you to return to your blog. Yes? Yes.

    I'm glad you're going to be writing here again. It's an odd comfort to know that you have jumped the hurdles that I'm facing. I wish you clarity of mind, an abundance of inspiration and the strength to continue standing tall in your fabulous shoes.

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  9. You've been missed... I honestly don't know any other blog writer who puts into words their thoughts the way you do. It's such a pleasure to read it and would be even a greater pleasure if you wrote a book... Would love to read your book (think about it).

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  10. I am bad with words but yay that you are back. And dont worry too much about life...relax, sit back and let it be for a while :))

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  11. Heart attacks and pony hair shoes. I feel that.

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  12. bitch! i need you on perfect androgyny! please commit! :(

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    1. Sometimes we forget that 'celebs' (or people who have a following of more people than 10) are human.

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  13. FINALLY! I've been waiting for that for what seems like enternity. Come and inspire

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Speak your mind! *muah*