Because, honestly, I didn't go anywhere.
Apparently we have reached a point where not Tweeting as much means you have been diagnosed with cancer and your absence from YouTube is a result of a three-month long coping process, which consists of reading Eat, Pray, Love non-ironically, eating a lot of bacon, and the occasion visit to Buffalo Exchange.
The latter half of that scenario is actually kind of true. Just the bacon and consignment parts, though, because after watching half the movie-version of Eat, Pray, Love and recovering from the incessant nausea it gave me, I can't really think about reading the book without getting diarrhea. But yes, bacon. Because I've been feeling a bit lost and lonely lately, like there is a hole in my life that I've been filling with promises of a delicious heart-attack by the time I'm 30 and second-hand pony hair shoes.
Basically all I'm saying is that I'm over eating my feelings and that I miss publishing them for an international audience that appreciates my existence. Basically I'm asking you to be my therapy
Seriously, though, thanks for not jumping ship like that Zebra did during the ship-sinking scene in Life of Pi, which was really just a metaphor for my blogging career (not the whole movie, just the hurricane/tanker/exotic animal/floating bananas/death part). I appreciate your eyes that magically let you see words on your screen, and your brains that by some sort of divine intervention understand (or at least appreciate) my wandering thoughts, fickle opinions, and wobbly gender expression.
I'll be posting more soon